Begin Again
by herinfiniteeyes
Summary: Written for the Loved for the Unloved contest. Angela is a single mom afraid to get into another relationship, but she just can't seem to get over her crush on the local bakery owner, Bagel Ben. AU/AH/OOC/Lemon.
1. Chapter 1

**"Love for the Unloved" Contest Entry**

**Title: Begin Again**

**Your pen name(s): herinfiniteeyes**

**Featured "B-list" Character(s): Angela/Ben**

**If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest visit the "Love for the Unloved" C2 Community:**

**http://www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/community/Love_for_the_Unloved_Contest/72809/**

**Thank you to my beta, and I hope you guys like this. It's definitely a departure for me, so hopefully I didn't bungle it too horribly:) **

**Psst..thanks Adrena;) You're the best!**

Angela POV

"Mommy! Mommy! Wake up!" Kiley squealed as she hopped on my bed, jarring me guiltily out of an entirely inappropriate dream about Bagel Ben.

"Uggggghh, baby, where's Nana?" I groaned, rolling over and peeking at the alarm clock. I'd have to get up soon to take her to school, anyway, but my mom was usually the one to take care of her in the mornings since I worked late shifts at the video store.

"Nana's on the phone ordering my birthday cake!" she exclaimed, excited as only an eight-year-old girl can be when discussing her impending birthday. She bounced a few times and crawled up to sit on the pillow next to my head. "Mommy, can we invite Bagel Ben to my party? Can we?"

I sighed and sat up next to her, considering her request. Ben Cheney, or "Bagel Ben" as he was known around town, was the owner of the neighborhood bakery. We stopped there every morning on our way to Kiley's school to get bagels for breakfast. Ben was always there, dependable, friendly...and _hot_.

Not that I would notice something like that, of course. I was a single twenty-six-year-old mother of a soon-to-be-nine-year-old girl; I had no time to notice the physical appeal of the opposite sex.

At least, that's what I'd been telling myself since my last failed attempt at dating four years ago. Kiley was the most important part of my life, and between keeping up with her and working full-time at the little indie video store, I just wasn't ever up for the effort required to have a relationship with a man.

Getting knocked up at seventeen by my high school sweetheart who ran away as soon as the second pink line showed up on the little white stick wasn't exactly the best way to give me much faith in men. Sadly, the guys I'd tried dating since then were more or less cut from the same cloth as Eric, and I'd never been able to just relax and trust someone enough to date them.

Kiley's big brown eyes shined up at me, begging me to invite Ben to the party. She considered him one of her friends, and I had to admit that he was always really wonderful with her. I smiled down at her and pulled her into my lap, attacking her smooth cheeks with kisses as she squealed in fake protest. "Okay, how about this? If you _promise _to pick up your room tonight and eat _all _your vegetables at dinner without complaining, I'll invite Bagel Ben to your party, okay?"

Kiley's delighted screech echoed through the small apartment and I laughed at the happy sound. She swore she'd clean her room right away and claimed she'd even eat vegetables for breakfast. I laughed and climbed out of bed, telling her to do that as I went to go get ready for the day.

Once in the bathroom, I threw off my nightgown and stared at myself in the mirror. I wasn't exactly a hot mom, but I hadn't let myself go over the years, either. My skin was pale from a life lived in Washington, but it was unblemished and I hadn't suffered a wrinkle yet. I had passed my brown eyes down to Kiley, and my slightly wavy dark brown hair was worn in a low-maintenance shoulder-length bob.

The only problem I had with my physical appearance was my post-baby body. Even nine years later, I still had faint stretchmarks and my breasts weren't as perky as they had been when I got pregnant at seventeen. I was lucky not to have the baby pooch that some of my friends bemoaned, but the stretchmarks were enough to make me self-conscious whenever I actually got naked with someone.

I pulled myself out of the impending grumpfest I could feel building whenever I dwelled on my lack of a sex life.

Twenty minutes later, I was showered and dressed. Kiley was sitting at the kitchen table with Nana, pouring over a Toys R Us catalog and pointing out the different toys she liked. My mom looked up at me when I entered and gave me a sly smile. "Good morning, dear. I just got off the phone with Ben. He said he'd be more than happy to make the birthday girl's cake."

I regarded her suspiciously as I gathered my things. I knew my mom wanted me to start dating again, but I wasn't sure how I felt about that. The last guy, Tyler, had really let me down and disappointed Kiley. She'd asked about him for a month after he broke up with me, and it broke my heart every time.

I couldn't risk her becoming attached to someone, only to have them walk out of our lives when things weren't working anymore.

I sighed. "Mom, Ben is just a friend. What are you trying to do, anyway?"

She gave me a completely innocent look. "I have no idea what you're talking about, honey. I'm just telling you that he's making the cake, simple as that."

I rolled my eyes in disbelief and slipped on my plain black canvas slip-ons. I was going to work later in the day, but I wanted to get some birthday shopping done after I dropped Kiley off at school, so I was wearing part of my work uniform of black jeans and black shoes with a black Sorry About Dresden t-shirt. "Okay, whatever you say, mom. Come on baby girl, we'd better get going," I told her.

She jumped up and went to grab her backpack. I turned back to my mom to say goodbye, but she was regarding me with a critical eye. "_What_?" I snapped impatiently, not liking the way she was looking at me.

She pulled back and shook her head. "You know, Angela, you're in your mid-twenties. You're someone's mother. Don't you think it's time to start dressing more like it?"

I grumbled and ran a hand through my hair. "Mom, I dress this way because I like it. I refuse to wear mom jeans. We've been over this!"

After my mother and Bill, my step-father, divorced while I was in high school (pretty much around the exact same time I'd announced my pregnancy). While my teachers had been stunned, and my friends completely shocked, my mom was utterly _devastated_. It made me feel horrible at times when I thought back on it, because she'd cried for days. Now that I had Kiley, I could understand, but at the time, it'd been really hard for me to endure the guilt of disappointing her.

Having my mom live with me had been a blessing in many ways: she helped with Kiley, kept the place clean while I was at work, and kept me company. Unfortunately, living with my mom also had plenty of drawbacks. She was nosy and she loved to meddle.

She gave me a resigned sigh. "Fine, fine. Just don't expect the eligible adult men around here to ask you out on dates. Nobody wants to date a grown woman who dresses like a twelve-year-old boy," she muttered under her breath.

I'd had enough, so I waved goodbye and ushered Kiley out the door, intent on ignoring her well-meaning advice.

The bakery was busy, as usual, but Ben smiled as soon as he spotted us walking through the door. I felt my stomach clench in the pleasant way it always did whenever I saw him, but I pushed that knowledge away and gave him a strictly friendly smile in return.

Ben Cheney was my idea of a sexy piece of man. He wasn't conventionally handsome or built like an underwear model, but he had floppy brown hair and big, honest eyes that never failed to draw me in. His little self-conscious smirk coupled with his long, lean body called to me on so many different levels, it wasn't even funny. He was smart and adorable, and he had this humble self-deprecating humor that never failed to entertain me.

He was my type in every sense of the word, but he'd never made a move, and I certainly wouldn't be the first one to make one. With that in mind, I stepped up to the counter and reminded myself that I wouldn't be licking frosting off his naked body anytime soon. (Well, at least not in _real _life. That's what dreams are for, right?)

I groaned inwardly when he met us at the counter and beamed down at my daughter. He was just so fucking..._guh_. "Hey, kiddo! Guess what? I'll be making your birthday cake. Transformers, right?" he teased her as he peeked up at me and winked.

My vagina hit the floor in shock. How could someone so adorable like a cupcake be so _fucking sexy _at the same time?

It really just wasn't fair at all.

I swallowed convulsively and felt my brain buzzing with sex deprivation as I stared at him dumbly. Luckily, he was talking to Kiley. "_Eeewwwuh! _No way!" she shrieked, wrinkling her pert little nose at him in disgust.

He laughed and I watched in fascination as the dark blue t-shirt he was wearing tightened across his lean chest. The muscles in his neck and shoulders flexed as he chuckled and I watched on, hopelessly and pathetically. "Well, I stand corrected. It was the Little Mermaid, right, Mom?" he asked as he smiled down at my girl and tweaked her nose lightly. She giggled and nodded her head excitedly.

Unfortunately, there were people in line behind us, so I was forced to snap out of my lust-induced haze and order our bagels. Ben grabbed them and poured a cup of coffee for me. We liked to eat at the bakery when we had time, because there was a nice seating area with cozy tables and comfortable chairs, so we wandered over and sat down after I paid.

Today, Ben followed us. He brought a cup of coffee and a bagel over for himself and sat down across from me. I tried to avoid looking at him, because my dirty dream about the frosting was once again in the forefront of my mind. I shifted nervously in my chair and tried to focus on my bagel, but Kiley was poking me in the side and casting me desperate looks.

"Did you need something, baby?" I asked her pointedly. She shook her head and peeked at Ben, biting her little lips and puffing out her cheeks in impatience. I recognized that look, because I got the same one whenever I was frustrated or impatient with someone.

I realized then what she wanted. I put my crumbled bagel back on my plate and looked up to see Ben sipping coffee and smiling curiously at us. "Um, Kiley wanted to know...I mean, that is, _we _wanted to know if you'd like to come to her birthday party on Saturday afternoon," I questioned.

I watched his face carefully, on the lookout for the slightest sign of discomfort. I didn't see any, however, as he smiled hugely and said, "I'd _love _to!"

Kiley bounded out of her chair and flung herself at him, a bundle of pure excitement and joy. Ben hugged her close and peeked over her head at me to make sure it was okay. I nodded briefly and he set her down so she could return to her seat. She began chattering about all the things we were going to do at the party, and he listened intently, commenting in all the right places.

Seeing Ben with my baby girl like this made it so difficult to maintain my distance from him; he was just _so _wonderful with her in every way, always so patient and warm. We'd known him since the bakery opened up three years ago, and he was probably the most reliable man in her life, which...sounded really unfortunate and pathetic, when I thought about it like that.

Ben kept casting me covert glances when he thought I wasn't looking, and I couldn't figure out why. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that I often caught myself staring at him, but I'd never really seen him looking back.

At least, not until today.

Feeling myself get flustered, I took a few sips of my cooling coffee and tried to finish my bagel. I wasn't hungry, but I needed something to do with myself until we had to leave. I heard him ask something, but I was lost in my thoughts. "Sorry?" I said, sounding wistful. I cringed and hoped he hadn't heard it.

Ben smiled adorably and sat back in his chair. "I was just asking if you needed any help setting up on Saturday. It's my day off, so..."

I felt my cheeks heat as I met his gorgeous hazel eyes. "Umm..." I faltered, struggling to come up with a coherent answer. I felt Kiley poking me again, and I looked down at her in confusion. She nodded her head at me desperately, her sweet little lips pursed in suspense. "Okay, yeah, I mean, if you want to. I'd hate to ruin your day off," I stuttered out awkwardly.

Ben ruffled Kiley's hair and winked at me again. I was no more prepared for it the second time than I was the first time. "I can't think of a better way to spend my day off than to hang out with two of the coolest ladies I know," he replied with natural charm.

The thing that always bowled me over about Ben was his honest sincerity. He could give the corniest compliment, but he was always so sincere that it was impossible not to believe him. I heard Kiley giggle and checked my watch as an excuse to let my heart rate calm down before looking at him again. I saw it was time to head out, so I was prepared when I made eye contact with him. "Well, I can't argue with that. We've got to go now, but we'll see you tomorrow, I guess..."

He nodded and stood up to give Kiley another hug. I grabbed my bag and stood there awkwardly, but he completely shocked me. He stood up from hugging her and reached out for me, pulling me close in a hug.

This was the first time he'd ever touched me like this, and it sent my hormones into a tailspin. Even though the hug was completely innocent, my overeager and underused loins quivered in excitement as his long arms wrapped around my back, engulfing me in his warm, comforting scent. He smelled fresh, like manly-smelly soap and Tide laundry detergent. His t-shirt was soft against my cheek and his chest was surprisingly solid and warm. Even without seeing it, I could feel the lean muscle definition he had going on beneath the unassuming blue shirt.

He held me tightly for a moment and I thought I might have heard him exhale heavily before he gave me a quick squeeze and released me with an overly bright, friendly smile on his face. "See you tomorrow, same time, same bat channel," he said with a little smile.

"Tomorrow," I repeated with a dazed expression. He chuckled and waved to us as Kiley dragged me out the door by my hand.

We walked down the street in silence, which was unusual for my little chatterbox daughter. She was wise beyond her years, and I hated to think that our situation led to that, but she was still a happy, well-adjusted child who was wonderful in every way.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye and wondered what she was pondering so intensely as we approached her school. Finally, she got a determined look on her face and turned to me. "Mommy?"

I stopped and looked over at her. "Yeah?"

She screwed her eyes up tight and got an embarrassed look on her face. "I was just wonderin'..."

"About what?" I asked curiously.

She stared down at her feet. "Do you like Bagel Ben?" she asked quietly.

I felt the air stick in my throat, causing me to hack for a panicked moment. "Um, why would you ask that?" I asked desperately.

She peeked up at me. "Well, I was just wonderin' cuz you look at him the way Auntie Bella and Uncle Eddie look at each other when they think Maggie and I aren't looking."

I choked again and cleared my aching throat. "I have no idea what you're talking about," I replied firmly. _Parenting 101: When in doubt, deny, deny, DENY!!_

Kiley wasn't about to be put off by me so easily, which became obvious when she pouted up at me as if I'd disappointed her. "Mommy, are you gonna kiss him and stuff?"

I sighed and shook my head. "No, baby. Ben is just our friend, okay?"

She pouted for another moment. "Well, that sucks, cuz Uncle Eddie said..."

I cut her off, not willing to have this conversation. I refused to. "Honey bee, we're going to be late for school if we don't hurry," I urged. "Didn't you say Miss Bennett has a new story to read today?"

In her typical eight-year-old fashion, the new topic easily distracted her and we hurried the rest of the way to her elementary school. I dropped her off and headed over to the small shopping center down the street to pick up the last few items on Kiley's birthday wish list.

I spent the rest of the day trying to avoid thinking about Ben and his frosted dream peen.

The next three days passed quickly, but every morning at the bakery, Ben hugged me goodbye. I didn't know why he'd suddenly started doing it, but I found that I desperately looked forward to the moment he'd wrap his warm, steady arms around me and pull me in close. If I thought about it later on, I could still conjure up his smell, which made me inexplicably happy.

Each night, my dreams became increasingly...hotter. On Wednesday night, I awoke sweaty with the sheets twisted around my arms and legs. I cursed at my overactive imagination and decided to take a cool shower to slow my mojo, but the only thing that helped me get back to sleep was to give in to the fantasies I'd been entertaining.

With Ben's adorably sexy wink crossing my mind, I used my trusty pink vibrator to get myself off three times before I was able to fall back asleep. I'd never masturbated to the thought of someone I knew before, and it kind of surprised me.

On Friday, we went to the bakery for our breakfast, but we were running late so we didn't have time to stay and eat. Ben greeted us the same as he did every other day, but today his eyes linger on me longer than usual. It was as if he couldn't stop looking at me, and it made me shift uncomfortably, recalling my _activities _from Wednesday night.

Just as we were walking out the door, he called my name. I turned back in surprise and told Kiley to wait by the condiment bar for me. I don't know _why _I did this, but I didn't have time to question it as I crossed back to where he stood behind the counter. He was leaning on it, looking charming and sweet. "Yeah?" I asked, and the confusion came through my voice.

He smiled, looking nervous. "I was wondering..." he began.

I shifted, feeling nervous now, myself. "Yeah?"

"Do you think Kiley would mind if I brought someone to her party tomorrow?" he asked.

My stomach dropped to my feet and I had to battle the instant rampage of jealousy roping through my veins. I cleared my throat of the shock and struggled to find my normal voice. "Umm...yeah, I mean, no, go for it," I said lamely.

He looked relieved. "Good, because I think they'll really get along. Cady loves parties."

My stomach twisted and I struggled not to show my crushing disappointment. His eyes widened and he smacked his forehead. "Duh. I guess you don't know about Cady. She's my-"

I cut him off, saying we _really _had to get going, and that I'd see him at the party the next day. He looked like he wanted to say more, but I wasn't in any mood to hear about his lady friend. It was just too disappointing.

The next day, I woke up early and started cooking the food for the party. My mom went to pick up the birthday cake, and I found myself eying the box as if it were an unfaithful lover I wanted to spear through the heart. _He _made the cake. _He _hugged me every day this week.

_He _was bringing some party-loving tart to _my _daughter's birthday party.

I chopped, I fried, I assembled, I fumed. I ripped open bags with savage intent and grumbled darkly as I put the little bags of party favors together. Kiley was busy dancing around the apartment, singing along with _The Little Mermaid. _

When my mom called me into her room, I dragged my feet down the hall. I wasn't in the mood for her to lecture me today.

Listen to me. Twenty-six years old and dreading a lecture from my mother. _Pitiful_.

She stood next to her bed with a shopping bag in her hand. "I got you something to wear for the party today," she said.

She held the bag out to me and I groaned. "Mom..." I took the bag and pulled out the little red summer dress. It was a vibrant blood red, my favorite color, and strapless. It was cotton eyelet with an empire waist. It was beautiful.

The thing that shocked me the most about it, however, was that it was actually _my _style and not what my mother thought _should _be my style. I held it up and stared at it before I lowered my arms and smiled at her gratefully. "It's awesome. Thanks, mom."

She waved her hand off and tossed a shoe box on the bed. Without saying anything, she walked to the bedroom door and turned to shoot me her "I'm-about-to-impart-motherly-advice" look. "Angie, baby, I know you think that you're doing the right thing by waiting to date until Kiley's older, but I just don't want you to miss out on something..._someone_ who could make you happy."

I dropped down to sit on the bed. "It's my job to make _myself _happy, mom. I don't subscribe to the idea that I can't be whole and fulfilled without a man in my life. Yeah, I get lonely sometimes, but Kiley is young and I don't want her to experience a parade of men coming in and out of her life."

My mom crossed the carpet and sat on the bed next to me. "I'm glad that you aren't waiting on a man, pumpkin, but I still worry about you. I see the way you look at Ben-"

"_Ben?_" I exclaimed incredulously. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I shot off the bed, clenching the dress in a tight grip now. "Is _that _what all this is about?" I asked indignantly, holding the dress up.

She looked me in the eye and stood up, standing a few inches away. "Ben is a good man, Angie. He's not going to disappoint you and break your heart like Eric did. You need to let yourself be open, love. Trust Ben. I know that all it would take is a nudge in the right direction, and you two could be so happy together-"

I raised my hand to cut her off. "I don't need a matchmaker. I need a mom." I was beginning to get frustrated now, because I was tired of her trying to meddle in my love life. "I wish you'd just let me live the way I need to, for myself and for Kiley."

She looked sad now, and I was hard-pressed not to crumble now. "Kiley needs a father, Ang. She needs someone who will be a strong role model."

"_I'm _a strong role model, mother!" I snapped in response. "I support my family, and I have a great relationship with her. I'm not the type of woman to marry someone just so my kid can have a new daddy."

My words were harsh, especially because my mom had remarried after my father's death when I was eleven. I wondered now if she truly loved my step-father, or if she'd merely married him because she wanted my sister and I to have a _strong role model_.

I watched her flinch and pinch her lips together. She looked straight at me. "I did what I had to do for you and your sister," she stated coldly.

I stepped back from her and sighed sadly. Her shoulders drooped and tears formed in her eyes. "Baby, it's not that I want you to marry someone just because. I _want _you to be open to _falling in love_. You have a chance; I just want you to take advantage of it and not let it slip through your hands."

Her words were heartfelt, and they cut through my anger. I relaxed my defensive stance. "I get what you're saying. Just...please stop trying to meddle. I'll do what I need to do," I assured her tiredly.

She nodded and I turned to leave so I could get ready for the party. She held the shoe box out to me and I took it from her with a sad smile. Her eyes still shone with tears when I closed the door behind me.

As soon as I was done getting ready for the party, I stood in front of the floor-length mirror in my bedroom and admired the view. My mom had good taste in dresses, because this one was a complete knockout.

Or rather, _I _was a knockout. My usually demure ego was pleased to say as I noted the way the deep red complimented my white skin and made my eyes appear huge and dark. I wasn't sure this dress was entirely appropriate for a nine-year-old's birthday party, but I didn't really mind because I wasn't going to change out of it now that I saw how nice it looked.

Part of me admitted that I really just wanted to look this good when Ben showed up with this Cady lady. _Heh, Cady Lady. _

I heard a knock on the door and glanced at the clock. The guests wouldn't be arriving for another hour, so I was confused. I walked to the door and opened it up to see Ben standing there in a blue-and-white plaid button up over dark jeans. He wore a brown belt with a big gold buckle and black Cons. His hair was slightly curly and messy, and his hazel eyes were twinkling with mirth.

I drooled, and not just in my mouth. _Hot. _

A petite girl around Kiley's age stepped out from behind him and smiled up at me excitedly. "Are you Kiley's mom?" she asked.

I stared down at her, trying to figure out what was going on here. I shot a confused look at Ben, but he smiled and shrugged. I looked back down at the girl and produced my best mommy smile. "Yep, I sure am," I replied.

She bounced up and held out a gift-wrapped box. "Uncle Ben was right! You _are _really pretty! Here's a present for Kiley. I'm really excited to meet her. We're gonna be friends. I told Uncle Ben because he tells me stories about her and so I _know _we're gonna be friends. Where is she?"

The little girl sure could chatter. I shot another glance at Ben and he smirked. "Angela, this is my niece Cady. Cady, this is Angela, Kiley's mom."

_Cady_. I wanted to bang my daft head against the wall, or at the very least, smack myself a few times and force myself to sit in the corner with a Dunce cap on. _What a freaking jealous idiot_ _I was!_

I cleared my throat and opened the door wide, allowing them to enter. "It's nice to meet you, Cady. I'm sure you and Kiley will get along great. I believe she's in her room getting ready for the party," I replied, feeling a huge wave of relief.

Cady asked Ben if she could go meet Kiley, and he waved her off with a good-natured laugh. He turned to me and I saw his eyes widen a bit, as if he'd only now really looked at me. "Um, _wow_."

I swallowed nervously and felt a sudden attack of shyness. He'd never complimented my appearance before, and I wasn't sure how to react. I mean, other than jumping his bones on the living room floor, which would _probably _make me seem like a brazen hussy. "Thanks..." I mumbled, feeling my entire body blush as his eyes lingered on me.

He stepped closer and I held my breath, waiting for whatever would happen next. My pulse was pounding, the blood roaring in my ears. He was close enough to reach out and touch me now, but I wasn't sure if he meant to or not.

My question was answered when his hand ran down my arm and gripped my hand in his. "Angela, I..."

"Mommy! Guess what! Cady has a horse and she gets to ride it whenever she wants!" Kiley yelled as she came running out of her bedroom holding onto Cady's hand.

I sighed in disappointment as Ben released my hand and stepped back until there was an appropriate distance between us once more. His eyes were burning into my skin as I bent down to suggest to Kiley that she show Cady the small back yard outside our apartment. She readily agreed and they went bounding out the back door.

Before I could say anything, Ben was in front of me and his arms were around my waist. I looked up at him in shock, but his eyes were dark and I was speechless. "Angela..." he sighed as his head bent low and his eyes slid closed. My own eyes shut as his lips brushed against mine. I could taste his toothpaste, cinnamon and sweet. I opened my mouth a bit, and he tugged me toward him before deepening the kiss a bit.

The moment our tongues said their "how do you do's?" the back door opened, a knock sounded on the door, and my mom walked out to see what everyone was up to. Ben jumped back and we both avoided looking at anyone.

Luckily, the girls didn't see anything, but I saw my mom smiling smugly in my peripheral vision.

The party was crazy, but Ben stuck by my side, helping with the games, presents, and messes. My friends loved him, and by the end of the day, I was already a little bit in love with him, myself.

After everyone departed, my mom informed me (with a _very _significant look) that she was going to take the girls to a movie and then out for a special birthday dinner. Ben agreed and they left in a sugar-induced euphoria. I told Ben I was going to change so I could start cleaning up.

I was halfway across the living room before I felt him grab my arm and spin me around. I was so surprised that I didn't see it coming when he bent down to seal my lips with the hottest kiss I'd ever experienced.

When you considered the fact that I'd only been with two other men, it didn't really come as a surprise to me.

His mouth was warm and wet, and he tasted like cake and vanilla ice cream. I moaned into his mouth and he slipped his tongue inside, teasing and tempting me. I reached my arms up around his shoulders and ran my fingers through his messy hair.

Ben's hands were warm and solid on my back, making me feel safe and desired at the same time. I'd never felt this sense of security and trust with someone, and it was an eye-opening experience.

I knew I was probably rushing things, and that I may come to regret it, but I just couldn't help myself. I pulled away from him and I saw such happiness and need reflected in his beautiful hazel eyes that I knew my mind was made up.

I took his hand and led him back towards my bedroom. When we reached the door, I reached out to flick the switch that turned on my bedside table lamp. Ben followed me, his hand tugging against mine. "Are you sure?" he asked earnestly as I turned to smile up at him.

Watching him stand there with that adorable sincerity covering his face, while his eyes burned for me and a rather impressive erection pressed against his close-fitting jeans was enough to cement my decision. Without a word, I reached back and unzipped my dress, allowing it to fall down my body.

I stepped from the dress and stood before him in my strapless black bra and silky black boyshorts. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and I gave him the sexiest smile I could muster.

My confidence surprised the hell out of me, quite frankly, but it just felt...right...standing here in front of Ben this way. I felt as if I was offering myself up, and I had complete faith that he would treat me well.

Everything I knew about this man reassured me as I stood there, waiting for him to make the next move. I watched him carefully, daring him to touch me, kiss me, take me to bed and free me from the celibacy I'd forced upon myself all these years.

Finally, _finally_, he came forward and brushed his fingertips across my collarbone and up my neck until his hand cupped my cheek. He bent his head forward and laid a soft kiss on my mouth. "_Thank you_," he whispered against my lips.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

He smiled down at me gently. "For trusting me. For giving me the chance to hold you and show you how I feel about you," he replied simply.

Ben's words were simple, yet so heartfelt that I felt my stomach clench with the knowledge that whatever happened between us tonight would change my life, for better or for worse. Now that I was here with him this way, it felt so easy and right that it was hard to imagine how we'd ever been any other way.

His mouth was on mine again, and he had a hand buried in my hair. His other hand was stroking up and down my side, causing shivers to race up my spine. I reached down to pull his shirt up over his head and he left some space between us so I could get it all the way off.

I was a little bit surprised to see how well-defined his arms and chest were now that he was shirtless. I'd felt his lean muscles beneath clothes, but I never imagined that he'd be this _sexy _underneath everything. I ran my hands up and down, savoring the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. It was his turn to moan into my mouth, and I welcomed it with undeniable glee.

His hands dropped to my waist, only to wrap around and grip my ass. He pulled me up against him and ground himself against me, and his skin was hot against mine. I reached down to unbutton his pants, and he reached behind me to unclasp my bra.

He tossed my bra away and I pushed his pants down, exposing his black boxers. I licked my lips in anticipation when I saw his dick tenting the fabric. Now that we were here like this, I was impatient to feel him. I couldn't wait.

I walked backwards until my knees met the bed, and he bent low over me. His feet were still planted on the floor. He had one hand behind my back and the other wrapped firmly in my hair as his tongue massaged mine in an increasingly erotic way. I arched up against him, feeling breathless. My panties were already soaking wet, and he was rubbing himself against me.

My hands ran down his back, scratching ever so slightly, until they reached his boxers. I bent my knees and put my feet flat on the bed, caging his hips between my thighs as I pushed his boxers off. They caught on his cock, but I reached in to free it and gasped when I wrapped my hand around him.

He broke the kiss and looked down at me, looking worried. "You okay? Did I hurt you?" he asked.

I laughed. "Um, not yet, but I think I just freed Willy..."

Ben's laugh bounced off the walls. "That's a first," he chuckled.

Still gripping him, even though I couldn't get my hand all the way around his girth, I arched my hips up so I could press the head against my panty-clad wetness. "I'll probably walk funny for a week, but it'll be worth it," I quipped, suddenly feeling saucy.

His eyes slid shut as he pushed back against me. I needed to get these panties out of the way _pronto_. I arched my hips up and he got the memo, his fingers sliding beneath the silky fabric and tugging them down my legs before he dropped them.

We were both completely naked now, and I thanked my lucky stars that I was on the pill, because I didn't want _anything _to come between us right now. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled up after me until we were in position. He hovered above me, looking in my eyes with such tenderness that I worried I'd weep like a crazy woman any moment now.

My legs fell open and he held his breath as he slipped inside of me. My eyes drifted shut and I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him as close as I could. "Oh, Ben...it's so _good_," I whisper-moaned.

"I know," he replied in a reverent tone as he began to move gently. He _was _really big, and it had been a long time for me, so it hurt a bit at first...but knowing that I was here with _him_ made it an exciting, welcome pain that merely added to my overall pleasure.

The pain drifted away as we moved together, wrapped securely around each other. His lips smoothed a path down my neck and over my chest. He rolled us so I was on top and he was in a sitting position. His lips and tongue worked on my nipples, shooting darts of pleasure straight to my pussy and causing me to cry out. He had one hand in my hair and the other on my hip, rocking me back and forth at a furious pace now.

I opened my eyes to look down at him, and I moaned at what I saw. My Ben, my adorable, funny, _dependable_ Ben looked as sexy as sin. His eyes were dark and intense, his face was a mask of concentration and pleasure, and his mouth was open slightly as he watched my breasts bounce inches away from his hot gaze.

The bed rocked and squeaked beneath us, and it made everything in me burn hotter. I wanted to rock this bed every night with him. His left hand came up and pinched my nipple as his right hand began rubbing my clit. He looked up at me and licked his lips. "I want to feel you come," he said deeply.

I felt myself clench around him, and he shot up so he was on top of me once more. One of my legs was up over his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist, and he began a pounding rhythm that was relentless and delicious. I came _hard_ and he shouted my name as he filled me up.

He collapsed on top of me, and I held him close, unwilling to let him go. I shifted my legs and we stayed like that for a while before I remembered that the girls and my mom would probably be home soon. I reminded him of this and we reluctantly got up to take a shower.

After we were both decent once more, Ben helped me clean the apartment. Just as we were finishing up, we heard the girls coming down the hall. He turned to me and cupped my face, bringing me in for a sweet kiss. "I want to see you," he informed me.

I felt my heart skip a beat. "I want to see you, too," I replied with a smile.

He kissed me again and his eyes were serious on mine. "Listen, Angela, I want to be completely honest with you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heart stuttering now.

He looked to the door and I felt the urgency climb for him to explain himself. "I'm all in on this. You and Kiley _both_ mean a lot to me, and I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens between us. If, for some crazy reason, you and I don't work out, I'd never desert Kiley. I love her just as much as I love Cady, and I could never do that to her. I know her father ran away, but I'm not that guy. I'm here, for however long you'll have me."

I stood, completely stunned. "How'd you know about Eric?" I asked suspiciously. His other words meant a great deal to me, but I was just taken off guard that he knew about Kiley's father.

He looked away. I could hear the girls getting closer. "Your mom told me about a year ago. I know you guys were young, and I'm sure it was scary, but that doesn't excuse him from deserting you. I can't say I'm sorry you're single, though I'd like to change that."

His eyes met mine again and I didn't know what to say. He was saying all the right things, and I couldn't ignore the feeling swelling in my heart. _It was hope_.

"Look, I just thought you should know that you can trust me, that's all," he explained. His face was so sincere and nervous that it melted my brain freeze in an instant.

"I do trust you. You're a wonderful man, Ben. I'd be a fool not to realize that," I told him. He pulled me in for another kiss, bringing me a deep sense of belonging and safety.

As the door opened, Kiley squealed. "_I knew it!!! Mommy's gonna marry Bagel Ben!"_

And what do you know? She was totally right.

**A/N: This was fun to write, so I hope y'all liked it. Kiley is named after the band Rilo Kiley, because Jenny Lewis is just as cute as a button and I love her. Pictures of my inspiration for Angela and Ben will be on my profile. :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here you go! This is the second installment of "Bagel Ben" for the lovely and wondrous manyafandom, who bought me in the Fandom Gives Back auction. She generously allowed me to share this with all of you, so I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it!**

**Thanks to Adrena for the super fast beta job!**

AngPOV

"This restaurant looks _really _expensive," I said apprehensively as Ben led me with a hand on my lower back. The hostess was walking in front of us, and her slim black outfit and insanely high heels made me feel frumpy and boring in the simple sleeveless white dress that my mom had helped me pick out for tonight.

Ben smiled down at me with a twinkle of excitement in his eyes. "What can I say? The bakery business is good," he joked. "But really, stop worrying. I want us to have a good time tonight."

I gave him a nervous shrug and smiled up at him. He looked so handsome in his black suit with the dark red shirt. This was the first time I'd ever seen him in a tie.

Once the hostess seated us, Ben gently pushed my chair in and I gave him a smile of gratitude. His beautiful manners never failed to impress me and make me feel special.

He went around the table and held his tie to his chest as he sat down. I looked around the restaurant and took in the elegant atmosphere: cream floor-length tablecloths, immaculately white china with crystal water goblets, tealight candles drifting in small crystal bowls of water, and the soft scent of peonies in towering vases situated everywhere. Soft classical music filled the air courtesy of a man playing a glossy black piano in the corner.

I'd never been _anywhere _this nice before. My stomach twisted with nerves and I wondered if my mom's words from two days before were really true.

"_That man is completely, insanely in love with you. If he doesn't propose to you at this fancy restaurant, then I'll eat my shoe," she said with a wag of her finger. _

"Ang, are you okay?" he asked, obviously concerned by my silence.

I shook my head and tried to give him a bright smile. "I'm fine, I'm just in awe of this place. It's incredible, Ben, really. You really didn't have to do this."

He toyed with his tie as he looked around at the people at other tables. "I've known you for years, and I've always wondered why you could never see how amazing you are. Tonight is about treating you the way you ought to be treated."

With his last words, he looked at me with such sincerity that I felt my heart thump in my chest. _This is the moment. If he's going to ask me, it'll be now!_

I waited a beat, but he didn't say anything else, and by then the silence had grown awkward. I struggled to make up for my blunder. "The hot dog stand on fifty-second would have been good enough," I joked lamely.

His smile dimmed a bit and I wondered what I'd done wrong. "I know that you've been alone a long time, Angela, but any guy who would take a girl to a _hot dog stand _for a special date is a clueless asshole, and hardly deserving of someone such as yourself."

His words had an underlying tension that made me feel uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat and blushed, unsure of how to fix that tension. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

He reached across the table and I laid my hand in his upturned palm. He bent over and kissed the back of my hand with a soft brush of his lips. "I know you didn't, but it really pisses me off that you don't demand more for yourself. You should. You should ask the world of the men who say they love you."

I was kind of surprised by his words. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Kiley's father, for instance. He said he loved you, but when it was time for him to man up and _show _that love, he took off. That apparently taught you that a man's love is only a bunch of empty words."

I felt my shoulders stiffen. "Eric doesn't have anything to do with us," I said.

He gripped my hand again. "But don't you see? He has _everything _to do with us. He was your first love, your first teacher. He taught you everything you know about love, and he let you down. Even though we've been together for months now, you still seem to think I'm going to run off, just like he did."

I began to shake. "That's not true!" I whispered fiercely, all too aware of the people dining around us.

The waiter came and refilled our water glasses before telling us the specials. Ben told him to give us a minute, so he left and Ben turned back to me. "You know it is, Ang. You may not recognize the look you get on your face whenever something comes up, like the argument we had a couple weeks ago, or the time Kiley called me 'Daddy.' But I see it, and I know what it means. You think I'm going to leave if things get deep, don't you?"

My eyes went wide and I realized that he was completely right, though I was loathe to admit it. "I trust you," I said quietly.

He smiled sadly. "I know you _think _you do, and I know that you tell _me _you do, but I don't really think that you actually _do_. I want you to know that I'm not going to run. I'm in love with you, and I love Kiley, and if you hadn't seized up and acted so freaked out after she called me 'Daddy,' then you would have realized that I was _really _stoked about it. I love your little girl as much as I love you, and now that you're both in my life, I never want you to leave."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I sniffled, trying to be discreet. "I'm just scared, okay? I'm just...I've never met a guy like you, and you're so handsome, and sweet, and amazing, and I just can't imagine what a guy like you would want with someone..._damaged_...like me."

Ben's face went pinched and white at my words. "You can't be serious," he said in a shocked voice.

I wiped an escaped tear and looked around to be sure nobody was looking. "It's _true_, Ben. I was a single teenage mom, and every guy I've ever been with has made me so freaking distrustful of men that I haven't even been able to have a real relationship until you came along. I'm so afraid of messing this up that sometimes I wake up at night and tell myself that I should just break up with you now, before I ruin it."

The waiter came back with his friendly smile and his ordering pad, and I was so frustrated with his intrusion that I just ordered the first thing I saw on the menu. Ben's order was just as willy-nilly as mine, and as soon as the waiter left, Ben's pinched look was back.

"I can't believe you think that about yourself," he said sadly.

I looked down at my lap and watched my trembling hands fumbling with the cloth napkin there. "I feel so stupid sometimes when we're together, like I'm only delaying the inevitable."

"And what _exactly _do you think the 'inevitable' is?" he whispered angrily.

I looked up and met his eyes. "I'll disappoint you, you'll leave, and Kiley will probably hate me."

He looked like he was going to be sick. "I don't even know how to respond to that."

We sat in silence for a few moments while the din of the restaurant continued around us. People were laughing, chatting, and enjoying themselves, but we seemed to be locked in this conversation that had taken a turn for the worse.

"Would you like to go home?" he asked finally.

I nodded and bit my lip, afraid to look at him. I'd ruined our special date.

When the waiter came back with our food, Ben quietly told him that something came up and we had to go, so the waiter took the food back to the kitchen to box it up.

Ben looked just as miserable as I felt.

Just as the waiter was returning with our check and the boxes, a woman shrieked "Yes!" and shot up out of her chair as a man kneeling at her feet slid a glittering engagement ring onto her hand. The couple positively glowed, and I felt my stomach twist hard.

Ben handed the waiter a stack of bills and grabbed the bag with the boxes in it. He stood up and came around to pull out my chair. "Let's get out of here," he muttered.

I wanted to sob at the look on his face as he led me back through the restaurant that we'd been in for barely half an hour.

Once the valet brought the car around, Ben held open the door for me as I got settled. He handed me the food and I put it by my feet as he crossed to climb in behind the wheel.

The drive back to my apartment felt like a silent eternity.

Ben walked me to the door and I clutched my purse with dread as I watched his face. His normally happy expression was replaced with sad eyes and a grim line across his mouth. I knew then that I had royally fucked up our night, more than I could have thought possible when I aired my insecurities at the restaurant.

"Are...we okay?" I asked as we reached the door to my apartment.

He looked down at the tips of his shiny black shoes. "I don't know, are we? I'm sorry I'm unable to make you sure about me. I honestly don't know what else to do."

He sounded weary. Sick of me, of my emotional baggage. I cringed and mimicked his stance by staring down at my own feet. "I'm terrified that you're going to wake up one day and decide that you don't want a ready-made family. I try to be sure that you love me, but all I can think about is how destroyed Kiley and I would be if you left us..."

He was silent again, but this time I knew he wasn't angry, he just felt...defeated. I clenched my eyes against the tears and felt my shoulders stiffen up around my ears. I waited with bated breath to see what he would do or say next, but I couldn't have prepared for what he actually did.

I felt him take my hand and spread it out. He placed a small, soft object in the center of my palm. My eyes shot open and I looked rapidly from the little baby blue box up to his sad eyes. "Wh..what?"

He heaved a heavy sigh. "I was going to propose to you tonight."

My hand clutched reflexively around the small ring box. "Oh, oh god," I choked.

He gave me a sad smile. "I want you to hang onto this for me. I want you to think about it. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Kiley. You may think that I see you both as a ready-made family, and I do. I'm _ready_ for you and you were _made_ for me."

I began to cry in earnest now, but he kept going. "I want you to be sure of me, but I know the only way you can do that is if I give you time and space to think this through. It's killing me, but I know it's what I'll have to do if I don't want to lose you. Since I obviously can't convince you, I guess you'll just have to figure out how to convince yourself of your worthiness for happiness...because believe me, Ang, you deserve so much happiness. I just want to be the guy to give it to you, and I can only do that if you'll let me."

I held the ring box to my chest, afraid to open it and see what he would have offered me tonight if I could have only been sure of him, of us. "What now?" I asked on a sob.

He closed his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Now I guess I wait for you to make up your mind. Are you worth it, or aren't you?"

He looked at me for a moment before he turned to walk away. I panicked and begged him, "Please don't go! Please..."

Ben stopped and I saw his shoulders go back in resolve. "You know where to find me when you're ready to give me your answer."

And with that, he was gone.

The apartment was quiet when I walked in. It was past Kiley's bedtime, and I was grateful that I wouldn't have to face her tonight because I couldn't even face myself. I didn't look up as I passed the mirror hanging in the entryway.

My mother was seated on the couch in the living room, watching the late news with a crossword puzzle open on her lap. The soft pool of yellow light coming from the lamp shone on her lap and illuminated her reading glasses. She looked up in surprise when she saw me. "Home so early?"

I bit my lip and felt the edges of the ring box cut into my hand as I tried to hide it in my fist. "Yeah...I wasn't feeling too well, so Ben brought me home," I lied.

She frowned and removed her reading glasses, hooking them on her collar before she spoke. "Angela, I am your mother and I know when you're lying," she said firmly.

I closed my eyes to hide the fresh wave of pain. "Ben...Ben was going to ask me to marry him, and I messed it all up," I admitted with anguish.

She sighed and sat up on the couch. "Come sit down and tell me what happened."

I went to sit next to her and she reached her arms out for me. I cuddled up close, not worrying about my hair or make up any longer. "I wasn't fair to him. I don't blame him for leaving me," I said miserably.

My mom's grip tightened around me. "What do you mean, he left you?"

I began crying again. "He told me that he loves me and Kiley, and that he wants to marry me but that he won't unless I admit that I deserve happiness," I rambled.

"Well, he's right, you know," she blurted.

I sat up and out of her embrace. "Thanks for siding with him," I said stiffly.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, come on, Angie. I know what that stupid young man did to you in high school, and I know what kind of deadbeats you've been dating ever since then, but Ben's different, and we both know it. I should have realized you'd be terrified of something actually going _right _for once in your life!"

I gaped at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She sighed. "You've always been afraid, Ang. You just don't want to admit it. You were scared of Ben and the way he made you feel from day one, so you just kept avoiding it and dancing around him until you couldn't anymore. He scares you because if you actually ever let him in, let yourself trust him, then it would mean that you'd have to give up on keeping men at arm's length. Do you really want to lose one of the best men you've ever met, just because of some assholes who weren't worth the ground you walk on?"

I sat in stunned silence when my mom finished talking. Was that really what she thought of me? Oh god, was that what _Ben _thought of me? How did I not realize this before? Had I been walking around like a big scaredy cat all this time?

I guess I had. Now I just needed to figure out how to get over that and get Ben back into my life.

I knew I wouldn't have any grand epiphanies tonight, so the matter would have to rest while I did. "I'm going to bed, mom. I'll talk to you in the morning," I said tiredly. She reached out and gripped my hand in hers, squeezing it as she smiled at me.

I walked off and got ready for bed with my head in a daze and my heart aching.

A week went by, and I avoided Ben as much as possible as I tried to sort out my feelings. Kiley knew something was going on, but she didn't ask me about it and I didn't volunteer the information. She may have seemed like she was wise beyond her years, but some things were just too complicated to explain to a nine-year-old girl.

I worked long hours and tried to stay focused on the tasks at hand at any given moment so that I could distract myself from the aching sense of wrongness that came whenever I thought about Ben. I'd let him down, and I wasn't sure how to make that up to him.

He'd wanted to marry me, and all I'd done was throw my old neuroses in his face. I'd thought that I was over what Eric had done to me, and to an extent, Kiley, by walking away when we needed him most. He hadn't even come to see her in the hospital, and he'd never even contacted me for information or pictures about the daughter he helped create.

That betrayal had nearly destroyed me, and it would have if it hadn't been for my mother and Kiley. I would have stayed in bed all day with my baby, shutting out the rest of the world if my mom hadn't come to drag me out and force me to face the world that had become colder and harder after Eric's rejection.

The guys I'd dated between Eric and Ben were much of the same as Eric, but at least I couldn't blame them for walking away from their own child. Kiley and I would always be a package deal, but they just hadn't been capable of loving another man's child.

Until Ben.

His affectionate relationship with Kiley went above and beyond any expectation I'd held for a man in my life. He truly loved her, not just as a little girl, but as his _own _little girl. It was as if Eric had never existed in his mind, and Kiley loved Ben so much that she'd seemed to forget that he wasn't her father, either.

But he could have been, if I hadn't fucked it up. I sighed and swallowed against the painful lump in my throat. I'd just have to find a way to make him forgive me. Kiley deserved a man like Ben, even if I didn't.

I'd do anything just to keep him in her life, even if he didn't want me anymore.

"Mom, how come we haven't been to Bagel Ben's shop?" Kiley finally asked one morning over breakfast. I was busy rushing around, gathering her lunch and my lunch and all the other various items we needed before we could leave the house.

"I just haven't had time this week," I lied. I instantly felt like shit. I'd promised myself I would never lie to her, but I really didn't want to tell her that her own mother had possibly ruined the one relationship in her life that wasn't held together with blood ties.

Her small face pinched up. "But we _always _have plenty of time," she protested.

I stopped what I was doing and sighed. "Listen, I don't want to have this talk right now. Can you please go get your shoes and coat so we can leave? We're going to be late if you don't hurry," I pleaded desperately, trying to distract her from her line of questioning.

Kiley grumbled, "All right," and dropped her spoon before sulking off with a petulant look on her face. She dragged her feet all the way to her bedroom and back, but at least she had her shoes and coat on. I handed her the Barbie backpack she'd gotten for her birthday and we were out the door with barely any time to spare.

All day at work, I struggled to think of a better excuse as to why I was suddenly deviating from our morning ritual of coffee and pastries at Ben's shop, but every single one sounded just as lame as the one before it.

My shift went by slowly, and I dreaded every moment of it because I knew that Kiley was just going to pick up right where we'd left off this morning as soon as I picked her up from school, and the last thing I wanted to do was lie to her again.

But how could I tell her the truth? Would I even be strong enough to admit to her that her mom was nothing better than a coward for running away from the best man she'd ever met?

She'd be so disappointed in me, and I wasn't sure if I could bear it.

I kept my head down and didn't speak to any of my coworkers for most of the day. I had to talk to customers, who came in to return movies or rent new ones, but my responses were short and people mostly just left me alone. By the time my shift was over, I dragged myself to Kiley's school to pick her up.

The moment she saw me, she launched into her attack. "I wanna know where Ben is," she demanded.

I sighed and shut my mouth tightly. "We'll talk about it when we get home," I hedged.

"I wanna know! You told me!" she accused.

I shut my eyes. "Kiley, now is not the time. I _said_ we'll talk about it when we get home!"

I rarely had occasion to use my stern voice with her, so Kiley immediately reacted to it by shutting up. When we got home, I sent her to do her homework while I changed out of my work clothes and did some cleaning. The house had gotten messy during the week because I'd been picking up extra shifts at the movie store.

I liked working there, but it wasn't really the kind of job I wanted to have forever. I'd thought of going to school once, to learn how to cut and style hair, but there just never seemed to be enough time. Instead, I'd settled on the first job I could get, and I'd been there for almost four years now.

The house was quiet until dinnertime. I called Kiley to the table and my mother appeared as well. "Thanks for making dinner, honey," she said with a pat on my shoulder.

"No problem," I mumbled.

Kiley came sulking out of her bedroom and I realized that she was still upset about getting chastised after school. I sighed and set her plate down in front of her. "I'm sorry for getting upset with you today, baby."

She sighed and wiped a tear off her cheek. She must have felt worse than I'd thought. I instantly felt horrendously guilty for making her feel so bad. I picked her up out of her seat and sat down with her on my lap. "You know I love you, right?"

She nodded glumly and wrapped her small arms around my neck. "But mama, why hasn't Ben been around? I miss him!"

I closed my eyes and buried my face in her sweetly scented shoulder. "Mama messed up, baby. Ben and I got into a fight and he's upset with me, a lot like you were upset with me."

My mom watched us in silence. I made eye contact with her and her wise eyes looked sad for me.

"But why can't you just say you're sorry?" Kiley asked.

I heaved a great sigh. "It's not that easy, Kiles."

She pulled away from me and stood up. "Yes it is! You're just being mean! Ben wants to be my daddy, and I want him too. You just won't apologize 'cuz you're being stupid!" she yelled before stomping off to her bedroom.

I dropped my head on the table next to our untouched dinner and my mom came to stand beside me. "She'll be okay, don't worry. Why don't you just go do something to keep your hands busy while you figure this out?" she suggested.

I nodded and stood up to clear the plates. "I'll do that," she said.

I dragged my feet out of the kitchen and down to the laundry room. After sorting some laundry and starting a load of whites, I folded the clothes in the dryer from the other night. My mom was watching TV in her bedroom and Kiley was completely silent.

I went down the hall and read for a while in my bedroom. Around 7 o'clock, I went to Kiley's room to tell her to get ready for bed. When I knocked, she didn't answer. I opened the door and she wasn't in her bedroom.

After searching the entire apartment, I called to my mom. She came out of her room and I asked her if she'd seen Kiley. We both started panicking and searching the house once more. I flung the front door open and ran up and down every floor of the apartment building, searching for her.

When I got outside, I shivered in the cold night air and called her name up and down the block.

She was gone.

I ran back inside to find my mom on the phone with 911. She gave the dispatcher a description of Kiley and told her our address. She hung up and told me that the police were on their way.

I shook and had to sit down because my knees gave out beneath me. I tried to think of where Kiley would go, and only one answer came to mind.

My knuckles were white on the phone as I dialed Ben's number. "Please pick up, please pick up," I begged.

KPOV

It was cold and dark outside, but I knew the way to Bagel Ben's, so I wasn't scared.

At least, not until a car went by playing loud music. I ducked and hid in the shadows next to a stoop on one of the big apartment buildings on our street. I didn't want anyone to find me before I got to Bagel Ben's.

I was gonna make him forgive my mom for whatever she did. She was so stupid for messing up. Bagel Ben was the best guy ever, and he wanted to be my dad. He'd told me so when he showed me the pretty ring and asked if I was okay with him marrying my mom.

I wanted them to get married so that I could have a dad to bring to school. All my friends had daddies, and they came to school for all kinds of stuff. It was really embarrassing always bringing my mom there, even when I was supposed to be bringing my dad.

But I didn't have a dad, and now my mom was gonna ruin my only chances to get one.

I ran as quickly as I could down the street. I knew how to get to the bagel shop 'cuz I went there with my mom all the time. _Or at least we did, 'til she screwed up._

More cars went by, but nobody saw me. A police car even went by and one of the officers had a flashlight like the one I had under my bed for when I had a bad dream or wanted to read after I was supposed to be asleep. I hid from the light, too determined to get to the bagel shop.

Once I got there, the CLOSED sign was in the window and most of the lights were off, but I could still hear music and see lights on in the back where the ovens were. I knocked as hard as I could, but he didn't hear me.

I begged that he would turn off the music so he could hear me, 'cuz I didn't wanna go down the big scary alley next to the shop. It was all wet and slimy, and really creepy.

On my fifth knock, I saw Ben come running around the corner. He had a phone in one hand and his coat in the other. I wondered why he looked so scared, but he stopped when he saw me and his eyes went wide. He ran to the door and unlocked it. "Kiley! Thank god, oh my god, holy shit!" he exclaimed.

I giggled. "You're not s'posed to say bad words," I reminded him.

Ben fell to his knees and hugged me tightly. "Do you even _know _how worried your mom is right now? How scared we all were? Thank god you're safe!"

I hugged him back. "I just wanted you to forgive my mom so that you could marry her like you said," I told him. I knew my mom would be worried, but I was mad at her when I left, so I didn't care. But now I felt really bad.

He kept one arm around me and lifted me up to sit on the counter while he dialed his phone with the other hand. He was shaking, kinda like my mom did whenever she cried when we watched girly movies.

"Ang? She's here! Yes, I was just about to come over and she was knocking at the door. She's fine. I'll bring her home right away."

He hung up the phone and stuffed it into his pocket. "_Why _would you do something so dangerous, Kiley? You don't even know how many bad things could have happened to you out there, all by yourself!"

My bottom lip trembled as I pouted. I hated when adults yelled at me. Even though he wasn't yelling, I could tell he was really upset. I felt really bad because I wanted him to like me so that he'd marry my mom. "I'm sorry," I said in a tiny voice.

He hugged me again and I breathed in deep because I loved the way he always smelled like bread and coffee. "Let's get you home," he said.

The drive to my house was a lot quicker than the walk. Ben had the heat cranked up really high, but he kept asking me if I was cold. I told him I was okay, but he just kept checking the vents and he had all of them turned toward me. I didn't wanna tell him I was really hot in my coat, because he seemed distracted.

When we got back to my house, he rushed me up the elevator and we got to my door to find some police officers leaving. When they saw me, they tipped their hats and I trembled because I was suddenly afraid of them. They looked so official and dangerous. The policemen who came to my class last year didn't have their guns on them like these guys did.

My mom ran to the door as soon as she saw me and scooped me up before I could even tell her I was sorry for running away. She held me so tight that I thought I wouldn't be able to breathe, but she needed it, so I let her.

Ben was there and I saw my mom reach for him. She kept crying and kissing me and holding me tight, and when Ben came close, he hugged both of us. I smiled into my mom's shirt and hoped that this meant that they'd get married now.

"Kiley, Kiley, _never _do that to me again, you hear?" she said in a shaky voice.

"Okay, mommy. I'm really sorry," I said.

She put me down and I hugged her leg. "What were you _thinking_?" she demanded.

_Uh oh, she was mad now. I knew she'd only be happy to see me for so long before I got in trouble for leaving. _

"Umm...I just wanted Ben to forgive you so that he could be my daddy," I admitted to my shoes.

There was a moment of silence before my mom picked me up again and held me tight. "Let's get you ready for bed," she said.

My grandma was there and she hugged me just like mom did, but her grip wasn't as strong so it didn't hurt. My mom picked out my pajamas and grandma helped me brush my teeth, even though I was a big girl now and I could do it all by myself.

Once I was settled into the bed, grandma read me a story. Mom gave me a goodnight kiss and I snuggled under the covers to hear the rest of the fairy tale.

I liked to pretend mommy was the princess and Ben was the prince coming to sweep her off her feet.

AngPOV

After I closed Kiley's bedroom door, I allowed my shoulders to slump as I walked down the hall like an old, exhausted woman.

Thank god she was okay. Thank god she didn't end up one of those horrible stories I couldn't bear to see on the news.

I heard a noise coming from the laundry room. I opened the door to find Ben bent over the dryer, pulling out the load of fluffy white towels. He looked up when he saw me. "Hey," he said.

I stood frozen in the doorway. "Wh-what are you doing?" I asked dumbly.

He looked sheepish. "I didn't want to disturb you, but I figured we needed to talk, so I decided to wait around. I figured I'd make myself useful," he explained as he folded a towel and set it on top of the dryer.

Ben was wearing a green t-shirt and dark blue jeans. The shirt stretched across his shoulders and made his lean muscles look ridiculously mouth-watering. I may have had him for a while, but that didn't mean I could ever get sick of looking at him. He was just too hot for his own good.

And yet, here he was, in my laundry room. Folding towels. He'd just found my missing daughter and brought her back, and he was folding my laundry.

Without warning, I burst into tears. I saw him drop the towel and rush over to me, pulling me into his arms. "Shhh, it's okay, Ang. It's okay. She's safe. It's okay."

"It's all my fault!" I wailed. "She was mad at me because I messed things up with you. She blames me."

He held me closer. "It's not your fault. She's just a little girl. You couldn't know that she'd react like that," he said reassuringly.

I sobbed into his shirt. "I'm so fucking _selfish _for fucking things up with you! She loves you so much, and I know you love her, and I was just so _stupid!_"

He pulled away so he could pull my face up. My wet eyes met his and he looked sad. "She loves you too, just like I do. You didn't do anything we can't get past, so long as you're willing to try, Angie. I just wanted you to believe in me, in _us_. I wanted you to know that this is something you deserve, something good, you know?"

I bit my lip as more tears came trickling out. "I guess so."

He sighed and cast a look up at the ceiling as if begging for patience. "What do you want, Ang?"

His arms were warm and solid around me, and his scent was like a security blanket that made me feel safe and secure. His beautiful eyes were on mine and all I could think about was how much I wanted him to be with me like this forever.

My tears stopped and I wiped my face. He stood holding me patiently, but all the terror and adrenaline from the night had caught up to me, and I wasn't feeling so patient anymore.

I pushed up on my toes and brought his head down to mine. "I want you. Forever." I told him urgently. "And I want you right now." I crushed my mouth to his, and his arms tightened around me as I kissed him deeper and harder than I ever would have thought possible.

All the adrenaline in my blood had crashed into a powerful lust too strong to deny, and I knew I wouldn't even have the patience to make it out of the laundry room. "Here. _Now._" I demanded.

Ben pulled away and his eyes were heavy with lust too. "We shouldn't, not here," he said, but I could feel his hard length pressing into me as he backed me up against the dryer.

"Yes we can. No one will know," I pleaded as I pulled him back for more kisses. My hands went to the hem of his shirt and I pulled it up along his lean torso, exposing his beautiful chest to my greedy hands and mouth. I touched and tasted him and he bit off a strangled moan.

He pulled away and shut the door before pulling his shirt all the way off. I pulled him back to me and buried my hands in his short brown hair as he pulled me up and dropped me on top of the dryer. I wrapped my legs around him and felt my pussy soaking my panties. "I need you," I gasped.

Ben's mouth was just as hot and greedy as my own now, and I could feel his hands on my hips, bringing me up against his stiffening erection in his jeans. I reached down to pull my shirt up and off and he made quick work of my bra. I reached my arms around him to pull his naked chest against mine, and I moaned when my aching nipples brushed against the smooth flesh of his pecs. "Oh my god, I'm so horny," I gasped, knowing I would be embarrassed later for how I was talking, but I honestly couldn't care right now.

Ben moaned against my neck as he nibbled my sensitive skin. I writhed against him, needing and wanting more friction against my drenched pussy. "Please hurry!" I begged.

He pulled away and I reached down to tear at his jeans, but he calmly pushed my hands away and opened them himself, pulling his stiff dick out for me to see. I whimpered in overwhelming excitement and clenched my thighs together against the rush of moisture between my legs. He reached out, gripped the elastic waist on my pajama pants, and pulled them off without any difficultly.

I stared at him, wondering how he could be so fucking sexy. He smiled devilishly at me and gave me an open-mouthed kiss hot enough to curl my toes as he gripped my knees and pulled them apart so he could step between them. I was sitting on top of the pile of clean towels, but I didn't really give a shit. This was gonna be too amazing to pass up.

My legs wrapped around his waist again and I felt his fingers brushing against my entrance. I gasped and bit my lip. Suddenly, the broad head of his cock was there and he pushed into me without pause. I felt him fill me up and I moaned out loud. Ben quickly smothered my mouth with his and one of his hands went up under my ass while the other hand played with my clit. I was already rampaging down the road to the most amazing orgasm I'd ever had, but I wanted to fucking savor every moment.

The hand under my ass was lifting my body against his as he thrust into me again and again. The sound of our flesh slapping together made an erotic sound that echoed in the small room. I gripped him around the shoulders and kept my tongue against his as he rocked me against him.

"More," I begged. "Please!"

His thrusts sped up and he got harder inside me. I knew he was close, and so was I. I opened my legs as much as I could and he leaned down over me, pounding me harder than ever before. Before now, our lovemaking had always been gentle and sweet, but tonight it was passionate and feral.

We were like animals, going at each other. My nails raked down his back and he bit my nipples with barely controlled force. I would have cried out if I hadn't buried my face in his sweaty neck. "Fuck me," I whimpered.

Ben lost it then and I felt him close to exploding. The sight of him above me, so strong and so fierce made my orgasm come crashing over me. I shook as I burst around him, and the clenching of my pussy milked him as he thrust into me a few more times before growling deep in his chest.

When he came, he came so hard that I imagined I could feel it all the way in my uterus.

Both of us were still breathing heavily when he gently pulled away from me. Luckily, the towels beneath me provided an easy clean up for the mess. We got dressed in silence and I was about to pull the door open when he reached out and grabbed me up in his arms. He buried his face in my hair and I heard him trying to calm his breathing. "Please say you'll marry me, Angie. I don't want to live without you."

I pulled back and smiled at him as I took his hand. I brought him down the hallway to my bedroom and we stood exactly where we had the very first time I'd led him here. This time, I reached into the drawer next to my bed and pulled out the small box he'd left me with. He watched with guarded eyes, as if he was afraid I'd give him back the ring.

Instead, I opened the box and turned it toward him. "Would you put it on for me?" I asked.

His smile was full of joy as he pulled the ring from the box and reached for my left hand. As he slid the ring onto my finger, I curled my hand around his and kissed him deeply.

"We deserve this, Ang. We're gonna be so happy together," he said into my neck.

I hugged him tightly and whispered, "I believe you."


End file.
